Zealots and Natural DisastersIt must be something in the water. How else can you explain the occasionally bizarre behavior of Boulder citizens when it comes to the wacky propensity to think locally and act irrationally? Apparently, there really is something wrong with our local water supply.
Recent discoveries clearly prove that unnamed operatives in charge of our local water supply are routinely adding in highly toxic chemicals. These chemicals are so volatile that they require special handling and transport. In certain concentrations, these chemicals can cause severe skin and eye irritation. Some studies indicate at least one of these chemical compounds can cause cancer. In its most volatile form, the chemical can even cause death. For years, Boulder citizens may have been unaware of these highly questionable practices. We have done nothing to stop these suspicious and obviously unhealthful additives from being injected into our local water supply.
Now that I have made you aware of this questionable practice, I am going to ask that you stand with me on a street corner until we collect enough signatures to place a ballot initiative on our November ballot. This petition will ask Boulder’s health-conscious citizenry to eliminate the highly questionable practice of adding chlorine to our water supply. Chlorine is a highly toxic compound that is actually being manufactured by huge International Chemical Company cartels and purchased in bulk by our local water utility officials.
Wake up, Boulder! Our precious water supply must be pure and natural. It should contain no additives; no chlorination of any kind. Let that glacier water cascade down through our solid iron pipes and pass untainted into our water-distribution system. Pure and natural. Organic even. Really organic! Anything labeled “organic” in Boulder has just got to be oh-so healthful and good for you. Maybe we should even put this stuff in plastic bottles and share it with Fijians and other unfortunate souls who can’t find their own untainted water.
Instead of going after these particular chemical culprits, it is more than likely that Boulder voters will have a chance to eliminate an entirely harmless and actually useful additive to our water supply. A bunch of retro-fluoride zealots will be out collecting signatures to put a ridiculous proposal on the fall ballot requiring the elimination of fluoridation in Boulder’s water supply. Some of us are old enough to remember the highly charged and equally irrational debate about fluoridation that took place decades ago. Back then, fluoridation was a huge Commie plot intended to kill us or seize up our brain matter and make us all stupid. Maybe it worked. Stupidity seems to have gained ground over the quarter-century since fluoridation.
This isn’t the first time the current snake-oil crowd has tried to put this nonsense on the ballot. They did it in Fort Collins awhile back. Fortunately, the fluoridated water there didn’t have enough time to affect the brain matter of Fort Collins voters. The ballot initiative was voted down by a comfortable margin. Boulder citizens, however, are more likely to endorse this natural-good, chemical-bad jive, and it wouldn’t be the first or the last time voters here have been sold a bill of goods over some public-policy matter.
Every person with a cause and a pulse has the ability to basically say: “I know better than you, and I have pens and pencils and a petition for you to sign” and probably get something on the local ballot. Democracy flourishes here where every voice and every cause and nearly every complaint has a spokesman and a voter-induced remedy. All any malcontent needs to do is convince enough hapless voters to sign a petition and then rally the troops and get something passed. What a country!
Because of these periodic episodes of silliness, it is up to more rational Boulder citizens to stand up and speak out. I hope local dentists and oral-health professionals will be active in the debate that will surely come. I hope the more thoughtful, scientific community will come forward and point out that there is no proof of any kind that low levels of fluoride (or chlorine, for that matter) are in any way detrimental to human health. I hope the discussion of issues surrounding what will surely become an emotionally charged debate will be mitigated with rational thought and behavior.
Unfortunately, there’s something going on here that makes it nearly impossible to believe that all Boulder citizens are totally rational thinkers. It must be in the water.
Bob Greenlee is a businessman, philanthropist and former mayor of Boulder. He served on the City Council for 16 years. Greenlee’s columns appear each Sunday.
The preceding was originally published as an opinion column in the Boulder Daily Camera on April 16, 2006.
This message is from the Vote No on 2B Committee,
supported by the many very concerned health professionals serving the people of Boulder.
